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my last post was something that i wrote at 3am, something like the mission statement from"jerry maguire" the movie.what i usually do is just sit down with my computer on my bed and just let the thoughts into words.initially when i used to write blogs, it was for some special people to read, and to tell them what exactly i felt about them and the issues they had with me, or generally in life.but then as i had time between my trips around India. i found blogging as an interesting timepass.it was no longer for others, it was for ME.well this post is for the comment i got from gloria, interestingly, while reading the comment i thought it was by some person using the name gloria.well considering the matter inside. somebody desi would only know what "gajodhar bhaiya types" would mean or writing "jai shri ram", also the word "funda". anyways i was thinking to post a blog about writing jai shri ram after every entry.this is something i picked up from my friend chandru during the college days.he used to say it a lot.. at times when things went right.. and well at time when things went wrong.then there was my friend akki, i remember when we were in the first year, he used to right "ram" in a notebook about 100 times a day.something that he stopped doing after sometime(got into the college groove).i write it here after every entry to make satisfy myself, to check with me that all that i have written is what i really wanted to. things that really happened. things i really thought,things that trouble me, things that i want to do, things that i wish would have happened, and things i want to happen. its like gods email id for me, and after every post, i just cc it to god.and not just blogs, even when i text people, when i really want something to happen i end my message with "jai shri ram" to let god know that he could forget my tiny requests and would just go ahead and process this one first.i thank gloria for leaving the comment.it makes me feel nice writing this blog.i never expected anyone except my friends(who haven't yet commented) to read my entries.the other day i was looking at my older posts and found a strange change or rather contrast between the posts then and the posts now.feels nice.feels like i have graduated in life.but many more to come and much more to accomplish.thanks maam.jai shri ram

watchin ROCKY III.. LIVE

just finished watching eye of the tiger movie, oh i love sony pix the channel, they show rocky movies all the time and i certaily do watch it every time its on air and well, almost every week on the dvd.anyways, its about watching it live this time.march 2007, i was in Philadelphia, the city of rocky. oh god, i feel so damn sleepy.nothing like watching a rocky movie and then going off to sleep. strange but i get the best sleep after watching that movie. im so happy watching it everytime.well back to march no.. i guess it was april 2007 and for the record 3rd april 2007. i was in philedelphia, there was the joy of meeting an old childhood friend also.but something really strange happened that day. i was in trance i swear i was.ah, the walk from the greyhound bus stop to the rocky statue was long and had some stupid love parks in the way, nevertheless i got there. and there it was, right in front of me. the rocky statue. it was big, bronze "ROCKY" standing right in front of me.i had seen rocky an umpteen number of times before i got to see it in real. we clicked some photos, damn i was fat that day.thanks to all the chocolate milk and franks i was having all the time.anyways it about rocky, the steps, the air everything felt special. the right time, the right day, the right place and the rocky statue.. to the right of the rocky steps.i was so overwhelmed by the feeling of being there and many other things in my mind that i stood there, confused. i dont know why, but a coupla clicks with rocky and then we were off somewhere else, hanging out, eating Philadelphia cheese steaks.i really thought you know, when i would be there, il spend all the time i had staring at the statue and feeling the aura of the place, but that didnt happen.i dont know, maybe because of the confusion in my mind. when i think about the whole trip now when i sit and write this i try to find out why wasnt i myself that day. but i still dont get it, what i wanna do today, is go back there and sit it front of the statue for hours and hours together.but again, i dont know if il be able to do it.something is really wrong.in the movie when rocky sees the statue for the first time, i was overjoyed then, it was like, i have seen it too and touched it and felt it.i am so very high now, i feel drugged, i bet i can jog a 100 miles now.ah, that day was special, i met a childhood friend after about 10-15 years and then there was rocky.all that i had in mind, all that i would do when i go there just vanished.i was blank, maybe because i just wanted to enjoy the moment, the time i was in.its strange when you plan for something all your life and when you get to doing it, or being there all those things that used to be so amazing in the past just dont strike you then.if everything goes right and i go to the US for my studies,il go "rocky"ing again.this time, the "rocky trip" will be on my agenda, theres this guided tour of all the places rocky was shot, the italian pub,mickeys gym, and the market, the dock, everything. i wanna go all the places.and no, i wont be lost this time.my previous trip was just a coupla hours,and was in a rush. if i remember, i took the last bus out to NY from Philli.also, as the day ended there, i didnt wanna leave rocky city...strange.

FYI ive used the word rocky 25times. jai shri ram

steps

i was telling mom about my plan of action today, she was asking me if i was ready to work in the US and accept all the menial jobs i would have to do with my studies. i found a nice way of explaining my plan to her. the step by step process. taking things as they come, climbing that step and then proceeding to the next one. it made me feel so good that i decided to follow it religiously from now onwards. fusing it with another funda of my life ie accepting a phenomena only after analyzing both sides of the coin, i thought of digging into the process and knowing more about the practicality of the funda. well the good part first, i can concentrate on what on the table than thinking about whats on the way. that way il be calm and could really put in all the efforts in one place, narrow my resources to a single point. i think thats good, great. also, this whole step by step funda would give me sufficient time to digest all that i have done in the past and add it to the success or failure which ever the case of the present scenario. well then, i have time and i have good use of resources.working step to step also means being careful with all that i do, which might make it a lengthy but perfect one.on the other hand, taking things step by step means analyzing the situation upto satisfaction, but the satisfaction level differs from person to person also from situation to situation. meaning analyzing a situation is good until done to a certain limit, over analyzing would in turn make it a difficult situation.going with the flow,digging in too much could also make me over cautious about things, as now i know all the dimension it would be hard to play the game as i could predict the outcome. i might not be really accurate in the prediction part of it, but something says its just not going to gel in.also, a common thought,of thinking about the future makes you ready to take it on is something that would not happen here, because being on the present step it would be violation thinking about the next one, i might not have put it well here but that is how it is. the perfect mix is the solution, staying in the present and trying not too hard, staying within limits and being happy with "now".about the future,well we have to think about it but things should stop at "thinking about it" and not "planning". that way one could be prepare for the future yet preserve the suspense in it.all in all what i should do "now" is upload the blog.jai shri ram